Reflections of a Mom

I had Richard take this picture back in November. I don't usually think to have people take pictures of me (especially when my hair is an obvious mess and I am wearing my pink polka-dot pajama pants), but once in a while, when I am having a good mom moment, I figure that maybe it would be nice to remember. And, to capture a moment that won't be available to me for much longer: Holding my "baby" while reading to him a favorite of mine from my own childhood. A book that I can clearly remember my own mother reading to me.

And, so my kids will remember, in the midst of the thousands of pictures that have been taken of them and their Dad, that somewhere in there was their Mom. And, sometimes I wasn't getting upset at them for not doing their chores. And, sometimes I wasn't checking my facebook. And, sometimes I wasn't breathing over their shoulders, correcting them, as they practiced. And, sometimes I wasn't busy doing my own thing - running errands, talking on the phone, sitting at my computer... 

Just in case they forget. 
(You never know.) 

Maybe I can take this picture with me to judgment day to prove just what a good mom I was. (HA!)

I had a dream several years ago that has really stuck with me. In my dream I lost my kids. I couldn't find them and I was so scared. Then, suddenly I found them, but they were all grown up. The saddest part was, I didn't remember them growing up. It freaked me out! I was so relieved when I woke up and realized that they were still little and I didn't miss them "growing up".

I really truly believe that this dream was a warning.

Although I am always around, even blessed to be a stay-at-home-mom, I feel like there are days that I miss seeing them grow. It seems I am so busy. Busy, busy, busy. Doing what? I don't know, but whatever it is, it keeps me too busy to sit James on my lap and read "Caps for Sale". Or, really listen when my daughter is telling me about her day at school. Or, help one of my boys with a project. Or, lay by one of them and scratch their back at bedtime. The list goes on and on and on...

I have missed more than I care to admit. 

So, even though this picture may seem like an "ideal mom" kind of picture, it's really just a reminder of how I am trying to be. Moments like the one pictured above are the only moments that are going to matter in the end. 

I want more of those moments. 

And I want to remember them.