Camping 101

When you go camping, you should choose a camp site that is secluded; away from civilization. It's about survival. It's about experiencing the great outdoors the way our ancestors did, with no electricity or other "conveniences". Build a fire for warmth and cooking, and put up a simple shelter (aka: tent) for protection from the elements. If possible, have a boy scout or two on hand to assist where needed. And a machete. Just in case you have to protect yourself from whatever's "out there". 

Always carry some sort of knife for carving sticks to roast food on. One should never use these "sticks" to sword fight, or swing around in the air while other people are close by.

And remember, sleeping bags are strictly for sleeping. If you wiggle around too much, you run the risk of waking up in the middle of the night with no covers. And, that would be cold.

If you are an 11-year-old scout, you might be brave enough to experiment with sleeping outside under the stars. Well, with a tarp. And the skunks. But, hey, whatever makes it real.

It's smart to camp near a river, so you can catch fish and eat them for breakfast.  

Or, you can opt to bring along a camp grill and make pancakes for breakfast. Yummy! Don't forget the syrup.

And, be careful when lighting fires. You wouldn't want to cause a forest fire!

Keep the fire nice and small. But, if it is huge and doesn't cause a forest fire, talk about how awesome and hot it is. Just don't try this at home...

Make sure you invite your grandparents. They can tell stories, and help you to understand what "roughing it" really is.

Relax. If you don't, all that hard work and sleeping in a cold tent just isn't worth it. 

Also, if you are under 12 years of age, you really shouldn't drive motor vehicles. Wait, you shouldn't have access to a motor vehicle while camping... 

Remember, just because you can find "seashells" in the river, doesn't mean the river is anything like the beach. 

And, whatever you do, don't keep the shells with the gooey, black, blobs in them. 

Make sure to hug your grandparents goodbye when it's time to go. And, thank them for letting us camp in their backyard. And drive their golf cart. And, use their bathroom. 

Maybe we'll camp "for reals" next summer.

However, if we wait until next summer to pull out the tent, that will be a long time to go without my cell phone... 

...which got folded up in the tent, and resides there even as I write this...